MX Travel Tips: Puerto Vallarta | Dimanche Brewer [Part I]
Dimanche
As someone who has traveled far and wide for a getaway (and lives in Texas), I know it may seem a little shocking that I’ve never been to Mexico. . .
I’ve always had interest visiting! But whenever I thought of traveling south, I envisioned a stay at a cheesy, run-down, all-inclusive Mexican resort in a “tourist trap” beach town.
That is probably an unfair assessment, but my imagination runs pretty wild.
There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with traveling like this, but it’s just not my preferred style.
I like variety, and the thought of spending a vacay at an all-inclusive makes me feel… confined.
Knowing that I’d be traveling to Puerto Vallarta with my sister and niece, I knew I’d have to put my pride aside to plan a trip that gave us the best bang for our buck. My sister was referred to a timeshare opportunity, and as much as the thought of a timeshare presentation cutting into my beach time made me cringe, I still agreed to participate for the savings.
I wish I could let you know that I went to an all-inclusive resort in Puerto Vallarta, and I saw the light and love them now …but nah.
That was not the case. Let me elaborate…
To start, Puerto Vallarta is a true beach town. The humidity slaps you in the face, as soon as you take a step outside the airport, and the shorelines are decorated with a variety of hotels.
When the sun goes down, a cool draft permeates the city and the lights from the various buildings light up the coast.
There’s a boardwalk called The Malecón which has a variety of bars, clubs and restaurants (all very LGBTQIA Friendly, btw! #ally) The area is split into two: Puerto Vallarta and Nuevo Vallarta. We opted to split a week between both!
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Upon arrival and clearing customs, we checked in to our first property in. . .
Puerto Vallarta
Views from my hotel balcony at Resort #1
The resort was an older property. It was clean, but dated. We had a room with a kitchenette, room service, and two full size beds (yes, you read that right, not QUEEN size).
I wanted to smuggle this picture out of my hotel room.
No worries, I didn’t.
The property had a convenience store, three pools, a sports bar and five restaurants. We spent 4 days here, including Christmas.
I’ll admit, it was clutch to have the variety of restaurants, especially having my niece (a picky eater) with us.
Unfortunately, the variety of restaurants couldn’t make up for the fact that most of the food at the restaurants was underwhelming.
And worse… the drinks were weak. The phone in our room was broken, so we couldn’t utilize the room service option. The bathroom had a constant leak and the shower never got hot. Not to mention, we were held hostage for 3 hours at a timeshare presentation.
I tried to give it a chance but by the end of the second night, I felt defeated.
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The second property we stayed at was in. . .
Nuevo Vallarta
…an area that is a bit bougier, but further from the action at The Malecon. The hotel appeared newer than the first property we stayed at. There was a rooftop pool + bar, a patio connected to the dining room and a lobby bar.
The “newer” aesthetic was a bold face lie! Have you ever been catfished by a hotel? Well, I sure was in Nuevo Vallarta.
After the random issues we had at the first hotel, I was thinking, “There’s no way the second property can be any worse, right?” Wrong. Same shower issue, janky WiFi and somehow the food was even worse. They served three meals at designated times, all buffet style. Nobody wants cold buffet pollo, man. Nobody. There weren’t as many restaurants in the area, but we made due.
I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m complaining about all these first world problems while traveling amidst a pandemic. I’ll be honest and say that I hadn’t traveled in a while and had really high hopes that these all-inclusives would be some perfect, magical paradise. I was let down a bit but there were some things I loved.
[1] They are taking COVID very seriously in Puerto Vallarta. Whenever I walked into any store or restaurant, a door attendant required a mask to cover both my nose and mouth, took my temperature and gave me a squirt of hand sanitizer before letting me enter a building. One of the restaurants I went to had a pretty cool sanitation station I had to step into. It was also very comforting to see everyone wearing a mask, even outdoors.
[2] It is stunning! We spent most of our days sipping rum on the beach and soaking up as much Vitamin D as we could. I hold an affinity for topography and there were some mountains behind the line of hotels that could be seen in the distance. There’s a rainforest up there and it made for an epic backdrop.
Views.
[3] Speaking of rainforest: I went ATV-ing and zip-lining in the rainforest! I had all of the bad luck with this excursion but it was still a blast. My ATV had a check engine light come on and it started smoking just a few minutes into the excursion. I actually think it died and resurrected a couple times. I also got stuck on a zip-line. I was just out there by my lonesome, dangling like a rotisserie chicken in all that heat and humidity. ‘Twas definitely a Top 3 embarrassing vacay moment.
Before the check engine light came on
Sister, niece, me!
4. Finally, it was safe. I tend to keep my head on a swivel no matter what city I’m in because I believe that anything can pop off anywhere, but there was really no need to in Puerto Vallarta.
Nice street art at the Malecon.
I can’t say that I will never return to an all-inclusive resort, but I’m not currently in a rush to get back to one. There is definitely value in staying at one if you are traveling with a family or with multiple people. I’d say my biggest lesson is that I learned that all-inclusives really aren’t for me and that is okay. I would love to return to Puerto Vallarta when COVID is settled because I could tell it is a lively place under normal circumstances. It fell a bit short of my expectations, but Mexico City made up for that.
💋
—Dimanche
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